Being a supportive mother means having your child’s best interests at heart, but also being present, involved and helpful. When I became a mother 17 years ago, I made a structured plan to bring up my son. I even made my husband and family follow my rules. I felt like it was my job to protect my child from all sorts of hurt, disappointment, fear and sadness. After a while, I realized that rather than following my strict parental structure, I should study my child’s behaviour and help and support his needs according to his nature. Being a supportive parent helps your child to be better equipped to handle stressful situations, to be able to handle their own emotions, to be capable of regulating their behaviour and get along with others. 

HERE ARE A FEW STEPS YOU CAN TAKE ON BEING A SUPPORTIVE PARENT FOR YOUR CHILD:

1. Make time to connect with your child 

As you work through these key steps to becoming a supportive mother, remember it is all about the process, not perfection. Allocate time where you both engage in an activity they really enjoy, where you can play, read stories or watch something with them. When children are cared for and encouraged to grow, they feel more supported and have a sense of belonging in your family.

2. Be as empathetic as possible

Being able to empathise with your child means you can place yourself in their shoes, but it also means that you can consider how tight their shoes really are or if they have holes in the toes. Be aware of a situation they experience that mirrors one from your childhood. 

3. Enjoy being a student of your child

Let your child teach you something as a sense of mastery is a powerful way of building self-esteem. What is something that your child is good at that you don’t have a clue about? It could be a computer game, a particular animal they are interested in or perhaps their favourite author. Whatever it is, give your child the opportunity to tell you all about it. Sit down together and let your child take the lead. Ask plenty of questions and be patient and curious. If you spot a mistake in what they are saying, keep it to yourself. Naturing your relationship is the goal here. Through this exercise, you will learn more about your child’s innovation and inner world and your child will get a big boost of self-esteem from being the expert.

Becoming a supportive mother is about seeking to understand your child’s world. This includes understanding their feelings, fear and frustrations without making the situation about you. When you create this connection with your child, you are actually creating an environment of support and helping them feel like they belong. 

ULTIMATELY, YOU ARE PREPARING YOUR CHILD FOR LIFE.

Sister Naflin Shibly